Hippo Penny Game Reviews

the callisto protocol
2024-06-27
70
Solid and Enjoyable
Hippo Penny! I'm back with another review that'll make you laugh, cry, and maybe even scream (but not because The Callisto Protocol is scary... or am I?). Join me as we dive into the world of survival horror and see if this game can live up to its Dead Space legacy.

First off, let's get the haters out of the way. Yes, I'm looking at you, Jimquisition. You know who you are – Mr. "I'm a tough critic because I have to be" (spoiler alert: you're not). Your scathing review might as well have been written by a disgruntled teenager who just got rejected from his favorite online gaming community.

But enough about that curmudgeon. Let's focus on the good stuff! Dexerto, for one, loved The Callisto Protocol. They called it "a wonderfully exhausting exercise in futility"... which is basically their way of saying it's a wild ride full of jump scares and creepy monsters. GRYOnline.pl agrees, saying it's a competent sequel that knows how to scare the pants off you (or at least, that's what I assume they meant).

Now, let's get into the meat of the matter – gameplay. IGN Spain calls it "a formidable adventure" with some caveats. Yep, those caveats are basically just complaining about the Season Pass and the second half not being as inspired... which is code for "the game gets a little too easy." Checkpoint Gaming had similar sentiments, praising the visuals and combat but criticizing the lack of creativity.

Gamer.nl, on the other hand, thought The Callisto Protocol was just okay – too careful, not enough originality. And poor Metro GameCentral? They basically called it Dead Space 4 without any puzzles or suspense... zzz...

So, what's the verdict? Well, I won't tell you my score (wink-wink). But I will say this: if you're looking for a good old-fashioned survival horror experience with plenty of scares and action, The Callisto Protocol is definitely worth checking out. Just don't expect too much creativity or originality... unless you count the monsters' creative ways to rip your face off (spoiler alert: they can).

That's it for now! Thanks for joining me on this wild ride of a review. If you have any questions or just want to chat about The Callisto Protocol, hit me up in the comments below!

Hippo Penny out!

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