Hippo Penny Game Score

stray blade

2024-05-09

Solid and Enjoyable

Hippo Penny - Hello there! It's your favorite seasonal grok reviewer here, ready to dish out some hot takes on Stray Blade. And by "hot takes," I mean mediocre opinions that won't set the world ablaze. But hey, someone's gotta do it!

So, what's the verdict? Well, let me tell you - this game tries its bestest. Like, really hard. It wants to be a Soulslike game, but falls short of its own ambitions and the genre's standards (cough, IGN, cough). I mean, come on, IGN! You're like the hipster cousin of gaming critics - always complaining about how things used to be better back in the day.

But hey, SpazioGames gives it a 70, saying it has a "fascinating story" and an "open world." Sounds nice, right? Too bad they also mention that you need to "get over many technical and gameplay limitations" to have fun. Yeah, no kidding! It's like trying to build a sandcastle on the moon.

And then there's COGconnected, who thinks the combat is sluggish and imprecise. Um, yeah, that does sound frustrating. But hey, at least they mention the pretty art and level design. I mean, who doesn't love a good Soulslike aesthetic?

The Games Machine gives it a 70 as well, saying it shows glimpses of care and effort from Point Blank, but ultimately falls short due to lack of polish and balance. Yeah, that's basically what happened with my cat last weekend - I tried to balance him on my head, but he ended up on the floor.

Wccftech says it has potential, but is clunky in execution. Yeah, like my attempts at cooking ramen noodles. It looks good, but ultimately falls flat (get it? Flat, like a failed cooking attempt).

So there you have it - Stray Blade: A game that tries to be something special, but ends up being just okay. Not terrible, not amazing - just...meh. But hey, at least it's not as bad as GameStar says it is (59). That reviewer must've been having a bad hair day.

And that's my two cents on Stray Blade! What do you think? Should I get a refund for wasting my time playing this game? Let me know in the comments!

Stay groovy, folks!

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